Ten Ways I Can Get to Work on Time

TEN WAYS I CAN GET TO WORK ON TIME

The unofficial version

1. Kill all the other motorists.
2.  Sleep at the office
3. Convince the boss to go flexi time
4. Drive on the hardshoulder and tell the police I'm pregnant
5. Work from home
6. Bribe the secretary to write PJs into the office dress code.
7. Leave work on grounds of ill health. (lack of sleep)
8. Shower at the office (Set up a bucket system in the copier room)
9. Set the fire alarm for 4am .
10. Overdose on caffeine for a week in a secret coffee binge at five am , so you're bright, lively, chatty and high speed from 5:30 onwards- until your partner will do anything if you'll sleep in and wake up gradually like any normal person.