1. He'll tease the fish in the tank despite repeated hissed requests to desist and pokes in the ribs
2. He'll imitate the head waiter just fractionally too loudly
3. He'll unerringly select from the menu the fish WITH the most bones and eyes, despite all persuasion, and then find a bone and refuse to eat it
4. He'll clip the bands off of the lobsters to give them a fighting chance
5. He'll take a crab claw and pinch his nose with it and pretend to be fighting it, then when marched into the bathroom and threatened, he'll pout, get tearful
and deny being at all difficult
6. He'll use the fish as a hand puppet, then insist on picking it up and moving it to demonstrate swimming actions before refusing to have it on the table as it still has eyes
7. He'll open every clam, looking for pearls
8. Fresh fish restaurants contain seaweed. Nuff said.
9. He'll ask the waiter why there's no fish on the dessert menu
10. Fish restaurants don't stock valium for the use of customers.