Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Rules When the Top is Out of Town

Your beloved Top is going out of town... and has just a few little hints and clues he's going to pin you to the wall and make you swear to before he leaves. So here, for the information and educational development of all brats, here is the precise definition of what he means, in order for you to be happy and healthy while he's away.

  1. BED BY ELEVEN PM - Which means THINK about it at 11. Actually get there around two-ish when everyone else on IM goes to bed.
  2. EAT PROPERLY - Which means - of course- PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!! And you can finish it off for breakfast. (ALWAYS eat breakfast, just like he tells you.) Also stock up on cookies, chocolate and other snack foods as celery and carrot sticks are NOT snacks, they're just used to keep the fridge busy.
  3. REFRIGERATE FOOD AS SOON AS IT'S COLD - Stick it in the fridge when you pass it around lunchtime the following day and don't mention it... it'll be fine, you both survive eating hamburgers.
  4. KEEP THE EMERGENCY NUMBERS BY THE PHONE - That means call 911 ONLY when the garden hose fails to put out the fire.
  5. DO THE CURRENT LOAD OF LAUNDRY, GET IT DRY AND IRONED. - Kick the pile every time you pass it, put it in the washer and forget about it. It'll dry by morning. Or toss it in the dryer to freshen, WHO needs water?!?
  6. FEED THE CAT - Leave pizza box on floor
  7. MOW THE BACK LAWNDump ALL gasoline on the lawn, and set alight. That leaves you with NO grass to mow, and no gas to mow
  8. BUY MILK AND BREAD - At 2am when everyone deserts you on IM...head to the all night store to get the essentials....and the candy bar you forgot earlier. 
  9. DON 'T SPEND ALL DAY ON THE NET - A day is 24 hours right? Just subtract toilet and snack breaks- you haven't been there ALL day....
  10. NO PARTIES. - it was a study group! Researching the multitude of beers available on the modern market. 
  11. RING YOUR MOTHER Call, let it ring once and hang up. Mark THAT one right off your list. Alternatively, if you have the right kind of Mom, she has already come round, vacuumed the house and done your ironing, bringing chocolate, cake, milk and sympathy with her since you've been deserted by your partner. 
  12. NO LATE TV - Turn tv off at 11, it's only the news. Turn it back on at 12:01, as it's now EARLY
  13. YOU'D BETTER NOT LOOK TIRED AND SUGAR HYPED WHEN I GET HOME...Leave a note saying you're feeding the homeless and crash at your friend’s house until you can hold a glass without shaking and keep your eyes open without toothpicks. Alternatively- why worry? He'll have missed you too much to be mad. ;)

No comments:

Most of the artwork on the blog is by Canadian artist Steve Walker.

Rolf and Ranger’s Next Book will be called The Mary Ellen Carter. The Mary Ellen Carter and other works in progress can be read at either the Falls Chance Ranch Discussion Group or the Falls Chance Forum before they are posted here at the blog. So come and talk to the authors and be a part of a work in progress.

Do you want to read the FCR Books
and Short Stories on your E-Reader?
Well, lucky for you, e-book files can be found in
both the Yahoo Group and the Discussion Forum.