Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Twelve Days of Christmas

The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my partner gave to me.......
one large cat with claws that were bigger than me

On the second day of Christmas the large cat gave to me
two scratches - deep, and a hairball under the Christmas tree

On the third day of Christmas I gave that roadkill to be
Two sly kicks and the swat that my top gave to me

On the fourth day of Christmas my top's cat gave to me......
Four shredded papers, three chewed up notes, two pulls in my sweater and a paw in my iced tea.

On the fifth day of Christmas I gave that roadkill to be.....
A glass of five alive.... and he gave me...(four knocked over chairs, three piles of sick, two broken glasses and an irate top who came after me)

On the sixth day of Christmas my top gave to me.......
Six dozen lines, five stinging swats, for-ever in the corner, three hours of chores, two chewed ears and a warning not to make the cat flee.

On the seventh day of Christmas myself gave to he.....
Seven little furballs, six fleas (collected), five dead mice... four caught flies, three broken baubles, two bandaids and a cat up a Christmas tree

On the eighth day of Christmas my top's cat gave to me......
Eight computer reboots, seven disconnected calls, six shoelaces missing, five hissing fits, four ignored calls, three innocent looks, two loud meows and my favorite sweater full of pee.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my top reminded me.......
nine times to stop shouting, eight times to stop stamping, seven times to shave, six times to dress, five times to nap, four times to shop, three times to eat, twice to keep on wrapping and once to unwrap his cat.

On the tenth day of Christmas I hung on the Christmas tree.....
Ten boxes of tinsel, nine strands of lights, eight candy canes, seven glass bulbs, six singing santas, five miles of garland, four calling cards, three french mints, two turtle ducks and one cat (no it really wasn't me!)

On the eleventh day of Christmas, his relatives came to see.....
Eleven hours of football, ten screaming children, nine trays of snacks, eight games of cards, seven views of the garden, six bottles of wine, a five mile walk- four cat fights, three with the kids, two squirts with the hose and apparently - him and me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love said to me......
twelve curt warnings, eleven don't do thats, ten isn't that enoughs, nine have you lost your minds, eight will you get thats, seven will you stop thats, six won't you help mes, five I've had enoughs, four settle downs, three leave the cat alones, two terms of endearment, and a promise that he'd never leave me.

However the cat stayed.



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