A Man Walked Into a Bar

Title: A Man Walked into a Bar
Author: Rolf
Written for the Tea Room Jan/Feb Three-Minute Story Challenge


The chair being pulled away from the table wasn't a loud sound by any means, but to Matthew who was standing in the corner, it grated on the nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard.

"Come here."

Matthew's stomach, which had been making several attempts to exit it's usual home in the midsection via the mouth, promptly changed it's mind and headed directly south. It made an almost audible plop on the floor and Matthew would swear that's what he tripped over when he turned from the corner.

Rolf waited patiently, no more interested in this conversation than Matthew was, but knowing it needed to happen. He could see the weight on Matthew's shoulders and the unhappiness etched upon his face. He could hear the short, sharp breaths Matthew was taking, see the tenseness across his partner's shoulders. He waited until Matthew was standing in front of him, shifting his weight from side to side in nervous anticipation.

"I have just one question. Why?"

To the uninitiated, that would be a simple question. But asked in that Tone, and the fact the question was one word, said volumes to Matthew. The tears started.

"It was supposed to be a joke."

"A man walked into a bar is a joke. This went a little beyond."

Matthew sadly nodded yes.

Knowing Matthew had meant it as such, and that he'd already had a blistering lecture from Eric meant that there wasn't much reason to delay any longer.

"Get the paddle."

"Roooooolllffff," Matthew trailed off miserably.

As cute and as miserable as Matthew could look still didn't change Rolf's mind. "Go on."

Matthew regarded the paddle as one of the more evil of instruments of correction. Rolf appreciated it a little more, as it could make quick work in certain situations, and saved his hand from the punishing blows.

Matthew's breathing was coming in quick gasps as he tried to handle the flood of emotion. He brought the paddle back to Rolf and quickly handed it over, looking as penitent as he possible could. It didn't help, as Rolf's hand's quickly undid the button on his jeans, pushing them and his underwear straight down to his ankles, far lower than Matthew thought was stricly necessary.

Bending across Rolf's lap took a lot of courage, knowing what was in store. He never remembered exactly how much shame and embarrasment there was in doing so, nor the extremely vulnerable feeling it left in the pit of his stomach. The ceiling fan's very slow breeze felt like ice across his bare bottom as he tried to gain purchase on the floor with either feet or hands.

Rolf tipped Matthew forward, seeing the goosepimples form upon his target area as he got Matthew into position. He picked the paddle up from the table where he had placed it and laid it softly down on the still white flesh. He was ready for Matthew's immediate jerk and look around, knowing he always tried one last time to change his mind.

"Rolf, please nooooooooooo. Pleeeeeaaaaasssssse!"

Rolf pulled the paddle away and snapped it sharply down, one on each side and quick third right in the middle. It took Matthew until the third for everything to register and for the lump of tears and guilt stuck in his throat to move out in one big rush so he could inhale enough air for the yelp to come out on the next breath. His body moved without conscious permission and without regard to what Rolf might think of him. All he knew was he wanted to get up and away from that punishing paddle but no matter how hard he tried he didn't move an inch.

Rolf paddled his partner firmly, letting Matthew tell him through body language and skin color that the proper message had been delivered. Rolf helped Matthew upright when the worst of the tears had passed, balancing him on his lap, pants and underwear long since lost from bare feet. When Matthew could hear again, Rolf set him on his feet and stood up to give him a crushing hug before pulling his chin up to gain eye contact.

"What are we not going to do again?"

"Get into Eric's ticket book," Matthew said firmly, sure at that moment he never wanted to set eyes on anything of Eric's ever again.

"And when you want to joke?"

".....A man went into a bar...."

Rolf kissed Matthew's salty lips firmly before turning him towards the sink. "Good boy."