Jamie and Allen

Title: Jamie and Allen
Authors: Rolf and Ranger


"Are we doing it today?" Allen asked, poking Jamie's side to wake him up.

"Mmmhmmm," Jamie responded sleepily, pulling the covers more tightly around him for protection. It was already warm in their bedroom.

"Then I suggest we get up and get started before the real heat of the day hits us," Allen said, sitting up. He pulled the covers off of Jamie. "You can't be cold."

Jamie flipped over, snuggling with his pillow. "Mnot."

Allen smiled and leaned down, swatting the boxered cheeks upturned and sheetless. "Just lazy, then. Come on."

"It's too hot to paint."

"Not if we get started now."

"What about breakfast?"

"What ABOUT breakfast?" Allen inquired, pausing in the doorway. Jamie peered at him.

"We're EATING breakfast."

"An hour's painting and I'll tell you where the donuts are?" Allen offered. And ducked as Jamie hurled his pillow.

"I know ALL your hiding places."

"Then where is the chocolate ginger?" Allen challenged. "Up, Jamie."

"It's too HOT -"

"UP," Allen said again, louder.

Jamie groaned, but sat up. He'd just wait until Allen went down -.

" ALL the way," Allen interrupted Jamie's thinking, knowing his lover's propensity for falling back over and dead asleep the second he turned his back.

Jamie glared half-heartedly and stood to his feet, rubbing his hands over his eyes. He padded into the bathroom and splashed water on his face and ran a toothbrush across his teeth to wake them up as well. He grabbed his tattered t-shirt and worst pair of shorts and descended the steps behind Allen.

"We need to get the furniture moved first," Allen said as they walked into the front room. He stopped to open the windows wide to catch whatever breeze might be blowing.

Jamie looked at the couch and thought about the spot they were going to find behind it.

"I think we should have coffee first," he said assertively.

"I think you should take the other end of the couch," Allen said cheerfully. "One, two, three-"

Jamie hurriedly grabbed and heaved with him as he pulled and hastily edged around the couch to get in front of the patch.

"What should we cover it with?"

"You'll find those old sheets under the stairs, let me get the paint."

"Ok." Jamie hovered until Allen started towards the door, then followed, zoomed to the cupboard and was draping everything in sight when Allen came back with the paint tins and rollers.

"Here we go. I'm still not sure this won't be too pale but we can try."

"It's nice. Fresh." Jamie took a seat on one of the closed paint tins, putting his back to the wall. Allen prised the top off the paint tin.

"Come on then. This wall covered, then we'll have breakfast. You start that end, I'll start this; we'll meet in the middle."

"I'll start down here," Jamie said grabbing a roller and tray as Allen poured the paint. "You're tall; you do the high bits-"

"What's that?" Allen interrupted.

Jamie flinched, looking around. "What's what?"

"That spot on the wall," Allen said, getting down from the corner he was in to inspect what he found. He looked closely at a large, red splotch, which had a rather large-sized chunk of plaster removed from below it.

"Do you know anything about this?" Allen asked Jamie, who'd quickly taken his brush and some paint to the other side of the wall.

"Know about what?" Jamie asked, looking like he was deep into painting without having put a drop of paint on the wall yet.

"This." Allen leaned over and took the roller away. Jamie unwillingly looked.

"Oh that. Um. It looks like a bit of a scratch, maybe some furniture?"

"A bit of a scratch?" Allen said incredulously. "It looks like someone with a drill tried to get through the wall! What happened?"

"Why do you automatically assume I did it?" Jamie demanded, straightening up and preparing to do his full outraged and innocent scene. Allen gave him one look and a short, sharp, "CAN IT." and he subsided.

"Let's start with when," Allen said a little more softly.

"Two weeks ago," Jamie said before he caught himself.

"What is the stain?"

"Strawberry jam," Jamie said, knowing he'd already said too much.

"Jam?" Allen asked, his eyebrows up.

"MMMhhhmmm," Jamie responded, looking at the floor.

"And the hole? DON 'T tell me it was the jar," Allen said grimly.

Jamie flinched again. "Okay," he said quietly.

Allen shook his head. "I don't believe it. This happened how long ago? And you covered it up and hoped I wouldn't see?"

Jamie nodded. "I knew we were going to be painting, that's why I didn't say anything."

"You didn't say anything because you knew we'd be painting it anyway," Allen repeated blankly. "You didn't think I needed to know?"

"We can fix it...?" Jamie pointed out, indicating the paint. Allen shook his head.

"Darling, plaster is missing. A LOT of plaster is missing. That's a different job entirely! HOW did this happen? WHAT did you do with that jar of jam and what were you doing with a jar of jam in here anyway?"

"Kier and I were making sandwiches. We were in the middle of the racing game on Nintendo, and Kier just brought the jar in here so we could finish the sandwiches while we played....." Jamie trailed off.

"That doesn't explain how the jar ended up on the wall."

"It wasn't me."

"Kier?"

Jamie nodded.

"And what did you do to provoke Kier into tossing it against the wall? Or was he trying to smash a bug or something?"

"He didn't exactly toss it," Jamie said awkwardly. Allen waited, arms folded.

"Well?" he said when there was no further response. Jamie shrugged a little.

"It was pretty much empty; I put the top on tight to throw away."

"And?"

"It was lying around when we were done with the game. We were mucking about with it 'cause it rolled."

"If it rolled into the wall this spot would be far lower. HOW did it get up this high?" Allen insisted.

Jamie blushed. "We were bouncing it off the sofa -"

"WHAT??!" Allen asked incredulously.

Jamie swallowed hard, then started again. "We were bouncing it off the sofa and Kier - missed."

"Missed." Allen echoed.

"We were only messing around," Jamie said carefully, "It just got a bit- silly-"

"WHAT were you two drinking with these sandwiches?"

"Milk?" Jamie said, confused

Allen shook his head, took a seat on the sofa and crooked his finger.

"Come here, little boy. Let me explain a few facts of aerodynamics to you."

"I like it heeeeeeere....." Jamie said plaintively. "And I know!"

"Now," Allen said firmly.

Jamie got up and walked slowly across the plastic strewn room, his feet crackling with every step. He tried staying just out of reach of Allen, but Allen was having none of that.

Allen reached for, and caught, his wrist, pulling him over to his side, and within two seconds, he found himself facing the floor. His pants were pulled out of the way soon after that.

"Allllllen....." Jamie twisted, trying to block Allen's hands. "This isn't necessary, it was a total accident, it was only messing around anyway, and it was Kier's fault not mine; you wouldn't expect me to get a guest into trouble would you? It would be mean, and I knew we were about to decorate and I'll fix it, I'll do it myself, you won't even know it happened....."

Allen deftly moved his partner's hands and landed several firm swats to the jumping backside across his lap. "I expect that when you have company, you don't use jars of food as toys. Jam does NOT go well with walls, or sofas, or floors. It's made to be put on bread, in pastries and the like. The KITCHEN is its preferred home and it does not have a passport to other areas of the house.  “Are we clear on this?"

"I'm going to FIX it!" Jamie wailed, "I told you I would! I only didn't tell you because it seemed so silly!"

"That should have clued you into the fact that it wasn't a good idea," Allen swatted slowly and soundly, punctuating himself as he spoke. "You do NOT play with food, you do NOT throw, bounce or kick any objects inside the house and food does NOT belong in the living room. Is that clear?"

"Yes!" Jamie said fervently, "It's clear, I'm sorry, I won't, I'll fix it!"

"You have painting to do. Kier, on the other hand, does not. I will be calling him to come and patch the wall," Allen said, finishing up on a last few solid swats.

Jamie got breathlessly to his feet, rubbing at the fire. He wiped a few stray tears from his eyes before pulling his shorts back into place, thankful it wasn't one of Allen's more serious spankings.

"Get started over there, please," Allen said, as he pulled back plastic to find the phone.

Jamie would really have rather Allen not called Kier about the jam, but seeing how the attention was no longer on his backside, he was content to dip the paintbrush into the can and begin painting.

He didn't hear much of the conversation, too embarrassed to listen, but when Allen put the phone down it was clear that they were expecting Kier in the next twenty minutes and Kier was hoping valiantly that making the wall good would save Ian finding out anything about it.

Within fifteen minutes there was a knock at the door and Allen went to answer it, looking more than slightly grim. Painting hard, Jamie winced, hearing more than a mild earburning going on in the corridor. Kier emerged, carrying his bag of tools and gave Jamie a brief grimace before settling down in front of the wall.

Allen followed a few minutes later and everyone worked hard for the next thirty minutes. The atmosphere in the room lightened noticeably after Jamie turned on a radio. All three were taking turns singing to whatever song struck their fancy and the painting went quickly.

They stopped at noon to eat, sharing a pizza that Allen had ordered earlier. After the pizza, the guys only had a few finishing touches left to make. Kier had found and repaired a couple of holes in the walls and patched around the window, and by the time the last stroke of the paintbrush was made, the room looked fresh and new.

"That didn't turn out too bad at all," Allen said, surveying the room with a critical eye.

"It dries to a much nicer color that what it looks like wet," Jamie added.

"Let's get the paint cleaned up, then the room put back to rights," Allen said, taking the rollers and brushes with him to the sink. Kier and Jamie worked on picking up and folding all the plastic sheeting, making sure not to touch the walls with anything.

"Want to move the couch?" Jamie asked Kier as they put the last of the plastic in a pile.

"Sure," Kier said, bending over to grab one side of it. The two had just put down the couch next to the wall when their eyes both settled on a jar of peanut butter that was now sitting in the middle of the room, where the couch had been.

"Did the peanut butter miss the returning flight?" Allen asked as he picked it up from the floor.

"No, it's just passing through." Kier said quickly, tossing it to Jamie who hastily pocketed it. "Never really there at all."

"OUT," Allen said firmly, chasing them both into the kitchen. " NOW ."

Copyright Rolf and Ranger 2010