Agreement, Evidence and Rain

AGREEMENT

by Ranger

Whenever I go out in the evening with my friends
However good the evening was or how the evening ends
I'm always very careful to avoid the dreadful fate
Of getting home at ANY time that could be construed 'late'

I can creep home quietly with the headlights downed
I can lock the door and climb the stairs and never make a sound
And you can STILL bet your life, that as I settle in
His voice says calmly,
"All right, WHERE have you been?"

It might be eleven, or just ten fifty-three
The difference doesn't matter when it's him and me
He SAID ten forty-five and there's a stopwatch in his head
And THAT's the time the front door shuts and you come up to bed.

So it's always my deep pleasure on a night out with my friends
To tiptoe home quite quietly when the evening ends
And to shut the front door firmly and to whisper quite sedate
I KNOW you're up there listeningLOOK how I'm NOT late!


EVIDENCE

by Ranger
James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George Dupree
Said firmly to his top, "Now don't go harrassing me!"
James James said to his top, "Stephen" he said, said he,
"I can MAKE it down to the shop in the town and STILL be in time for tea."

James James Morrison Morrison turned his cell phone to off
James James Morrison Morrison knew HE wasn't soft
"James," he said, as he said to himself,
"So long as you aren't too slow,
you can pay that bill, AND get that tattoo and Stephen will never know."

James James Morrison Morrison took himself into town.
James James Morrison Morrison took an item of clothing down
James James forgot the bill (although it was after four)
And had inscribed in a delicate place, "Stephen forevermore".

Stephen was rather irritable when he read those immortal lines
James said he was sorry, and he said it several times
And since he was placed at an angle where the words were easily read
Stephen took time to highlight the text with a background done in red.

James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George Dupree
Got the bill paid the very next day and was home from town before three
He swore in triplicate and again that he'd never more tattoo
But the words remain, since once inscribed- well- what can anyone do?

RAIN 

by Ranger
John had a hat and a big black mac
John had a thick coat with a jaunty set
John had two fleeces AND a waxed jacket
But John preferred to get wet.

John took his brolly to work when it was raining
But mostly it stayed in his briefcase, unwrapped
John said rain was a thing to be enjoyed
But his top didn't see it like that.

His top had a paddle, and rather an effective one
They discussed John's preferences and took a fair vote
And now on the days when it's really raining
John mostly CARRIES a coat.