Blood on the Mountain Part 6

Title: Blood on the Mountain 

Author:  Ranger

PART SIX

Adam spent the following day having a variety of tests. Sara went home to sleep and Stuart waited through the scans, wandering slowly up and down green painted corridors with his arms tightly folded, and reading public information notices. One of the tests involved provoking a fit, something Stuart didn't found out until later, but which was apparently done successfully for the benefits of the scanner. Adam came out of it once more ill, exhausted and wanting only to sleep. Sara met them in the ward at four pm to find Adam dressing, heavy eyed and grey faced.

"Discharged," Adam told her, tossing her the medication they'd been issued with. The Valium tubes had finally been issued. This time he'd had no energy to fight it and Stuart had silenced him with a look before he could protest. Sara flipped the box over in her hand.

"What were the scan results?"

Adam sat down to put his boots on. "Nothing. Heightened activity, no reason. This is a phase."

"We could have told them that," Stuart added. Adam glanced at him.

"No knowing how long it will last, and until the fits are under control, adapt my lifestyle accordingly."

Grania wouldn't allow him back at that price.

Sara took her own car to follow them home, and got held up at a roundabout somewhere near the motorway. Stuart and Adam arrived at the flat first without saying very much. Adam stood, watching Stuart lock the car up, shivering slightly in the evening chill.

"Did anyone ask you if you mind about the Valium? That wasn't in the contract when we met."  

Stuart stopped and stared at him. "Don't be daft."

"Well it wasn't.! Adam said frigidly.  "True love, with a boyfriend who screams and shouts half the time and the rest needs you to stick tubes of drugs up-"

He hesitated as if he'd been bitten. Stuart felt the rush of cold to his stomach but Adam pushed his hand away and jogged down the street to a tall, dark man in his mid to late thirties who was leaning on the gatepost of the flats entry way. He straightened, caught Adam and the two to Stuart's surprise, kissed each other there on the street. Stuart followed somewhat warily, thinking over what he knew of Adam's ex-lovers, but once he saw the two men side by side light dawned. The older man had the same nose and eyes, the same grin although he was a little taller and a lot more solid than Adam. He stood comfortably with an arm slung over Adam's shoulders.

"This is Bryn," Adam said in disbelief. "My brother- Bryn, this is-"

"Stuart." Bryn held out a hand. He had a more open face than Adam; the smile had real warmth in it and there was something attractively childish about his face, which argued with shrewd and intelligent eyes. Stuart gripped his hand, somewhat reassured.  

"Sara," Adam said grimly. "She's been telling tales."

The initial joy at seeing his brother had faded. Bryn tightened the arm around him and gave him a gentle shove towards the door. "You don't know why I'm here."

"Yes I bloody do."

And this wasn't going to be pretty.

Stuart took the keys and went tactfully ahead of them to put the kettle on. It was some time before he realised the conversation behind him had drifted into Welsh. He found himself hesitating to interrupt them, but Bryn who had taken his lanky frame to prop up the windowsill in the lounge, switched straight back to English at the sight of him. 

"-worried. That's all. Ianto wanted to come too but we thought you and I might argue a bit less."

Adam smiled faintly. He was balled up in a corner of the sofa like a cat, feet under him, chewing his nails. Stuart hovered near him. Bryn cleared his throat. "We heard you'd lost your job."

"I'll kill Sara."

"She's right isn't she? If you're not fit to work- to earn-"

"Grania just want me on sick leave until it all settles down again. I'll be okay until I get the medication straight."

"I wish you'd tell us what was going on," Bryn said resignedly. "Sara told us last weekend your fits were out of control again, then last night she phoned and said you were in hospital."

 "They've topped the dosages up, that's all."

"How many a month?" Bryn asked matter of factly. "Adam? A week?"

Adam shrugged. Stuart sat down on the sofa arm beside him.

"Seven last week. Nine this week- seven in a row last night which was why he was hospitalised."

"Duw boy-"

"It's been worse than that before now, you know it has," Adam said shortly. Bryn gave him an experienced look.

"All tonic clonics?"

"We've been given Valium to stop the long ones."

"Or if he has more than two within any six hour period," Stuart added.

Bryn shook his head. "All I've got to say is you thank God Ianto didn't come to hear this."

"For God's sake," Adam said exasperatedly,  "I've been doing this for years, there are good patches and bad patches."

Bryn shrugged. "What do you make of this, Stuart? Do you work?"

"Full time. But we'd agreed I was going to take compassionate leave."

"I've had fits on my own all my life," Adam said again. Bryn looked across at him.  "But if you hurt yourself- or go into one of the big ones and don't come out of it and you're here alone? You might have told us."

Adam swore and stalked out to the kitchen before Stuart could reach to stop him. He realised belatedly he'd moved automatically. Bryn ran his hands through his hair.

"We suspected it was bad. I had no idea it was this bad. I don't think Sara really knows either."

"Its only temporary, he says he's been through this before."

"Aye, I know. And God knows he's tough, he's a damn sight more together than the rest of us."

"It's just that this is your little brother," Stuart said wryly.

Bryn smiled. "Well."

Stuart returned the smile, the last of the wariness dispelling.

"How about you and him?" Bryn said frankly. "I've got to be honest, boy; how serious are you two?"

"Serious," Stuart said flatly. Bryn smiled.

"Don't look so worried. We've known for a long time. Three boys in the house you notice these things. Two of us chasing every girl in the valley and one mooning after Tom Cruise. But if he's not earning, or if he loses his job here-"

"It's not a problem," Stuart said matter-of-factly. "Want another coffee?"

Bryn smiled and peeled himself off the windowsill. "While Adam sulks himself out? Runs in the family, Ianto's the same."

The front door shut. A loud, fast argument in Welsh exploded in the hallway. Bryn pulled a face at Stuart and pulled himself up off the windowsill.

"Sara. With language like that they'll have the paint off the walls. Want me to break it up?"

********

Bryn had driven over 200 miles that afternoon; there was no question that he would not stay the night with them. He had ended the fight with a simple request to Sara to stop shouting or go home. Which, added to Adam's request to remove herself back to her estate agent with all possible speed- or words to that effect- had led to her slamming the door as she exited.

Stuart fixed Adam with a glare that narrowly prevented him opening the door and continuing his instructions for her exit. Balked of his prey, Adam left Bryn flicking through the tv channels on the remote and followed Stuart into the kitchen where he hung both arms around his waist and rested his chin heavily on Stuart's shoulder. Stuart put down the saucepan he was filling with pasta, turned the gas ring off and twisted inside Adam's arms to hold him. He felt thinner. Cold and fragile and tired to the bone. Stuart tipped back his chin and took in his shadowed eyes with a tightening stomach.

"You ought to be in bed."  

"I haven't seen Bryn in months and he'll go home tomorrow morning."

Will he?" Stuart said shrewdly.

Adam touched his face. "Bryn knows he can't make me do a damned thing. What's more, I know Bryn and he wouldn't try. Nothing to worry about."

They had everything to worry about. Adam stretched up to kiss him before he could argue.

"Bryn'll be knackered, he'll go to bed in an hour or two. He'll have been up since five."

"You're not much better."

Adam pulled a face. Stuart pushed his hair back off his forehead.

"How do you feel?"

"Okay." Adam rolled his eyes at Stuart's look. "OKAY. Headachy, tired, that's all. Stu, I'm not spending the next six weeks in bed, I can't just give in to this."

And now was not the time to start an argument. Stuart let him go with a gentle swat.

"Go and sit down at least. Keep your brother company."

Adam went but paused in the doorway, grimacing at the pasta Stuart once more began to prepare.

"Don't cook for me, I'm not hungry."

"That's what you said when they tried to give you breakfast and you slept through lunch."

"I'm still not hungry."

"Tough," Stuart said simply and went on filling the pan with water, taking no notice of Adam behind him until a mutter told him Adam had given up and gone.

Stuart left him to his brother and took some satisfaction in the mechanical and methodical actions of cooking. It was the first time in some hours he had had a chance to let go of the stress and panic of the last 24 hours and it left him drained and feeling not in the least prepared for the battle he sensed was ahead. Adam might be very well used to getting his own way as the youngest of a large family- but if Sara was any gauge of their protectiveness towards him, Bryn might turn out to be a more formidable opponent than he looked.

Adam was asleep in the armchair by the window, his head hanging in a way that suggested he had not chosen his position intending to sleep. Stuart winced. Bryn glanced up and accepted the plate from him with a nod of thanks.

"He looks shattered."

"They did an MRI scan this morning. They didn't tell me at the time, but part of the test was to provoke a fit, and he only had an hour or so's sleep afterwards," Stuart said bluntly. Bryn grimaced.

"Did you get the results?"

"Nothing. The most sensible suggestion was that he's grown used to the medication and needs changing over to another drug, and it'll be awhile before things settle down again. He's so methodical about taking them there's no danger the dosage hasn't been right or the schedule not consistent."

"Yes. He's always been careful," Bryn said dryly. "Sometimes you'd think he needs no one else on the planet. Not like Sara, she was far harder work as a kid than him."

Stuart put a hand on Adam's shoulder. He woke with a jerk and with a dazedness about his face that Stuart hated, and it took a few seconds to clear. He shook his head at the plate in Stuart's hand.

"I told you I wasn't hungry."

"You haven't eaten all day." Stuart held out the plate, expecting him to accept it. Adam got to his feet and stretched, heading for the window.

"No thanks. Are you STILL driving that wreck, Bryn?"

"I knew you'd take it apart at Christmas and go over it with a toothcomb," Bryn said mildly. "Ianto was hoping you'd go over to the auctions at Merthyr at some point, he's looking for another ATV."

"Adam," Stuart said quietly. Adam glanced at him. Stuart caught his eyes and held them.

"If you're going to take the painkillers they prescribed, you ought to take them now; you were supposed to have them with food."

For a minute he thought Adam would refuse. Then he scowled and went into the kitchen. Stuart followed him, dropping his voice below Bryn's earshot.

"Adam, I want you to eat. And I'd think if I were you before you answer."

"I'm not hungry and I feel sick," Adam said savagely, cracking the seal on the bottle of painkillers. Stuart watched him fill a syringe with the required amount and drink directly from it, pulling a face at the taste.

"Nevertheless I want you to eat. Adam, think."

The warning paid off. For a few seconds. Adam's scowl didn't change, but the answer was angry and deliberate.

"No."

"Right," Stuart said calmly. "I'll ask your brother if he'd mind going down to the Coach and Horses for an hour-"

Rebellion, followed by dismay crossed Adam's face in the space of  that sentence and he grabbed for Stuart's arm at once.

"Stu- don't, please- I'm sorry."

Stuart looked at him. Adam flushed, looking still more tired and miserable.

"I really don't want to eat anything, I'm not hungry."

"I know," Stuart said gently. "But some of why you don't feel well is that you haven't eaten all day and you've got no energy. All I want is for you to try."

"I'm sorry." Adam said again, less certainly. Stuart pulled him close and held him, stroking his neck and back as Adam clung to him.

"It's all right. It's all right. We are going to talk about that 'no', but that can wait until Bryn leaves tomorrow. Come and eat, and then you can get some sleep. It's going to be fine."

"I feel like hell."

"I know." Stuart kissed his forehead and silently damned Bryn. "Come on, baby."

********

He was woken in the night by the now familiar gasp and cry that warned him even before he felt Adam go rigid beside him. Stuart leaned over and switched the light on, pulled Adam onto his side and held his head, glancing at the clock. The jerks like last time, were harsher than they used to be, but short lived. About a minute later Stuart heard a tap at the door and Bryn opened it, looking apologetic in t-shirt and shorts.

"Sorry, I heard-"

"He's all right," Stuart said with more calmness than he felt. Adam was already relaxing under his hands, but his heart was thumping under Stuart's hand and Stuart was aware of his own heart hammering in sympathy. Bryn nodded, eyes on his brother.

"Wondered if you'd need the valium."

"He's okay." Stuart settled back a little, watching Adam's colour come back. "I think he'll just go straight back to sleep again. It's if he has more than two then I'll worry." 

"Are YOU okay?"

Stuart glanced up and Bryn reflected back his look of disbelief with a faint, wry smile.

"Yeah, I know. One of his teachers at school had a daughter with epilepsy, and he said he could watch Adam fit with nothing more than professional concern. If it was his daughter he started sweating and shaking every single time, even though he knew there was no reason to worry."

"Want some tea?" Stuart got to his feet with a last glance at Adam. His colour was back, he was nothing more than asleep now. Bryn sat on the edge of the bed, watching his brother while Stuart boiled the kettle and carried two mugs back. On the street outside a gang of kids were noisily playing football, unaware of the fact it was two am . Bryn accepted the mug with a wry nod at the window.

"Is it always this noisy around here?"

"Pretty much." Stuart leaned on the windowsill, half an eye on the match outside. "Don't usually notice it."

"Nothing but sheep to hear at home." Bryn swallowed tea, eyes on his brother. "You should come with him at Christmas. Get away from all this racket."

"I thought you came up here intending to take him home now," Stuart said evenly. Bryn shrugged, unrattled.

"I came mostly to see what state he was in and that he could look after himself."

"And he can't at the moment," Stuart said calmly. "But I can."

"Aye. If he'll let you." Bryn gave him another of those faint smiles. "I know our Adam. And I know how worried Sara's been."

Stuart didn't answer that. Bryn got up.

"Thanks for the tea. I'll go back to bed, let you sleep if you can through this row."

He glanced at Adam before he left. Stuart sat beside him as the door closed and put a hand over his chest. His heart was beating quietly and steadily and he stirred at the touch. It was still a long time before Stuart could make himself turn the light out.

*****

He woke to find Adam gone, and to hear the bath running next door. Stuart leaned around the door and Adam smiled, the shadows gone from his eyes and some life back in his face.

"I think you'd be better staying out until Bryn's left, love…."

Stuart smiled back, but shook his head. "No. Just reminded me. The hospital said you'd be better having showers, not baths, and leave the door open."

Adam's face changed instantly and Stuart regretted the change, but said before Adam could retort,

"Yes, please. It's safer."

"That's ridiculous!"

"It's that or you wait until I can stay with you."

There was a long silence. Then Adam muttered something under his breath and turned the shower on. Stuart went into the kitchen in search of breakfast, well aware this was the first of several changes they were going to have to make. The fire and the stove both needed guards while Adam was at risk of falling against them. The doors opened inwards in most of the rooms which meant he was at risk of falling against them and blocking anyone reaching him to help if he needed it. There had been other things on the list- not handling kettles or saucepans, blocking the radiators so he couldn't fall against them, looking for sharp corners and surfaces he could hurt himself on. Not letting him eat or drink anything hot without the protection of sitting at a table. The more Stuart thought about it, the more he thought they needed to rearrange the furniture in the lounge and living room to make it safer. All of which Adam was going to love. 

He took his coffee across to the computer and flicked it on, intending to check his mail. The two mails in the box raised a brief sense of guilt. Mitchell@N... mails stretching over three days. The second was brief and concerned.

Stuart,

Not wanting to bother you, but I'm hoping your time in responding is due to a long weekend and pleasant circumstances, and Adam is well. Although I suspect the hope is probably unrealistic. If we can help at all, please let us know.

We're both thinking of you.

Damien.

Stuart sighed and opened a fresh mail.

Damien,

Thanks for your mail. We ended up in hospital the day before yesterday. Adam went into status- a fit he didn't come out of- and needed emergency drugs to stop it. We spent most of yesterday going through tests and scans, none of which have told us anything useful, and we came home to find his brother on the doorstep which isn't helping at all. Can I ask a personal question? How on EARTH do you handle Nick when there are other people in the house?

Adam's okay. Just very tired and very fed up. We're going to have to make a lot of changes to the flat, and he's not going to be happy about most of it. At the very least he isn't safe to be alone. His family is naturally very concerned but its hard enough managing things between ourselves, never mind with added complications.

I haven't spoken to Nick for ages- I will try to get on to the net at some point this evening, and at least leave him a mail.

Take care,

Stuart.

 Stuart hit the send button and sat back in his chair, raising his voice. "Adam?"

"I'm FINE," Adam snapped back from the bathroom. Stuart ignored the tone and skimmed through the rest of his mail, deleting the junk. Adam emerged before he had finished, hair wet but as immaculate as his clothes.

"Breakfast," Stuart said automatically. Adam pulled a face.

"I'm warning you, Bryn won't eat your wholemeal bread and cereal."

"Bryn can eat whatever he likes." Stuart put a couple of slices of bread in the toaster and watched Adam sort out his morning medication. "How are you?"

"Fine. Headache."

"I was thinking about the changes we need to make to the flat." Stuart leaned back against the counter. "You've done it before, I wonder if we should make a list."

"We don't need to."

"We do. If you're getting no warning, if you're likely to have a lot, we need to make the place safer."

"It's easy. I have showers not baths, like you say, I don't pick up anything hot and that's all," Adam said shortly. Stuart pulled a pen and paper out of the kitchen drawer.

"Fire and stove guards. The consultant said that much. Look at moving the furniture, cover the radiators-"

"That ISN'T necessary!"

"It is, Adam. You don't need any more black eyes and split lips from falling against things."

Adam straightened up from the counter, grabbed his coat off the rack behind the front door and Stuart caught his wrist before he could open the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Out!" Adam tried and failed to get his wrist free. Stuart took the coat away and pulled him back into the kitchen.

"Ad. I know you're upset-"

"You don't!"

"I do," Stuart said quietly.  "And however much you walk away from it, the problem won't go away. This is a temporary problem, we can handle it, it's short term."

"What if it isn't?" Adam said hotly.

"It's only a matter of getting the drugs right. We only need to be sensible for a while. That's all."

"I don't WANT to start messing around with the flat-"

"We're going to have to," Stuart said firmly. "I'm sorry, love. I really am, I know this is horrible for you but you need to be safe."

Adam pulled away from him and folded his arms, tight. Stuart gently untangled them, breaking his defences.

"Ad. All we need to do is take precautions- rearrange the furniture, get some guards. It won't affect anything you do."

"You might as well hang signs all over the flat!" Adam said bitterly. Stuart ran his hands over his shoulders and squeezed them.

"You can't ignore it. Would you rather pretend it wasn't happening and take the risks? Because I wouldn't. I'd far rather you were safe."

"I AM safe," Adam said stubbornly. Stuart shook his head.

"I'm sorry, but we are going to do everything I can think of that's going to stop you being hurt or in danger. You can't expect me to do anything else. Can you?"

Adam didn't look up. Stuart saw movement in the doorway, glanced up and saw Bryn leaning there, arms folded, brows drawn together. He straightened up as Stuart saw him.

"I thought I'd give you a hand turning the doors around before I go. That's the toughest job."

*****

In the event Bryn stayed until noon, an efficient pair of hands in changing the hinges and in shifting the furniture. It was well apparent from his knowledge that this was a task he'd done before. Adam stayed off the boil throughout the morning, but remained pale, grim-faced and when forced to speak did it one or two word answers. Bryn gave him a crushing hug when he left, shook hands with Stuart and the only thing he said was addressed to them both.

"We're always on the end of the phone if you need us."

And there appeared to be no other string attached.

Adam turned on his heel and went back inside as soon as the truck was out of sight. They ate silently, sitting at the table. Or rather Stuart ate. Adam sat without ever lifting his eyes from his plate. Stuart watched him with sympathy, but the more he thought about it, the less he thought was to be gained by supporting Adam in evading the issue.

"All we need now are guards," he said when they finished eating. "Maybe the retail park would be a good place to look."

Adam pushed his plate away, heat rising into his chest.

"I'm finished."

"Where are you going?" Stuart said calmly. Adam got up, heading for the door.

"Jogging."

Stuart's hand snagged over his wrist.

"Ad, there's no point in fighting with me."

"I SAID I was going jogging. I'm a legal adult, there is NOTHING you can do to stop me."

Stuart pulled Adam around the table and down into his chair.  

"You know why I'd stop you. We're not getting into this."

Adam took a good grip on the table and pushed.

The table crashed to the floor. The china spread still further and wider with a better crash. Adam folded his arms and looked at Stuart. Stuart tipped his chair back and put his water glass carefully down on the bookcase.

"Okay. For a start you can pick the table up. Then you can sort the china out, and then we'll talk."

"Go and fuck yourself," Adam said precisely. Stuart put a hand over Adam's wrist and brought him to his feet.

"Table."

Adam wrenched in his grip. Stuart released him at once, gripped his arm and swatted him firmly.

"That's enough. Table. Right now."

"Make me." Adam taunted. Stuart's face didn't change but his eyes got a great deal more certain. He pointed to the nearest corner to the overturned table.

"Okay. You can stand there until you feel like picking it up. We've got nowhere else we need to be today."

Adam didn't move. Stuart sighed and once more took hold of his arm.

"Adam, move. Stand there and cool down, that's all I want you to do, then we'll deal with this-"

"You can deal with whatever you fucking like, you are not fucking touching me!"

Adam wrenched out of his grasp and kicked out, hearing Stuart's gasp of agony with open satisfaction. The already smashed china fractured still further in response to another solid kick at the table which skidded a foot or two on the carpet, then Stuart's hands gripped his upper arms like steel.

"Okay, that's enough."

What was he doing sounding so damned quiet about this? What on earth did it take to make Stuart Hutton scream? Adam jerked Stuart closer, trying to throw him over his shoulder but he only let Stuart get an arm around his chest and another around his neck, pinning him still.

"NO, Adam. We are not getting into this"

"If you think I am EVER picking up that fucking table you have another think coming! If you want it off the floor, you fucking do it!"

Stuart didn't answer. Adam twisted, hearing the reasonability in his silence and hating it to new heights of emotion. He could move nothing from the waist upwards. Stuart evaded his kicking feet with silent skill, dragged him clear of the china and put his back to the wall. One sweep of his leg hooked both of Adam's out from under him. Stuart slid down the wall to sit with Adam still locked in his arms, out of reach of anything to kick or overturn. When Adam thrashed, he hooked both his ankles over Adam's weighting them down, folded Adam's arms across his body and pinned his wrists. His voice was still calm.

"Its all right. When you're ready I'll let you go and we'll talk about it. Until then, you're staying here with me and you're going to-"

"Fuck you!" Adam said passionately. Stuart continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"-work on calming down. It's okay."

"FUCK YOU!" Adam screamed so loudly tears came into his eyes with the physical effort, "FUCK YOU, STUART! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? FUCK YOU!!"

"Say it a few more times if it makes you feel any better, you're not moving until you calm down," Stuart said matter-of-factly. Adam fought against his grip for a few minutes and had to acknowledge the truth of that. He shut his teeth and forced his body to be still.

"So I'm calm."

"That's being still, not calm. When you calm down I'll let you go."

Adam kicked out with all his strength. Stuart was not just the stronger, he was larger and heavier and there was no way he was moving. He didn't even manage to inflict any bruises. Adam collapsed back against Stuart, out of breath and so angry he couldn't swallow. There was nothing he could use except his voice and he used that with all the strength and volume he could summon up to sing the most obscene of the rugby songs he knew at the top of his lungs. He'd reached the second line when Stuart shifted his grip and put a hand over his mouth. Adam struggled to bite that hand and found it as unreachable as it was determined. He found himself sobbing from sheer rage and felt Stuart's face against his, his voice soft and soothing just as though they weren't locked in some nightmare combat the like of which normal people never indulged in.

"Okay. Shhhh, easy, honey. Easy, it's okay. It's all going to be fine."

You bastard. Adam said silently behind the slowly releasing hand. You bastard, let me go.

It was nearly forty minutes before Stuart released him. Adam shifted and lay down in amongst the shattered crockery, folding his arms behind his head. Stuart leaned his elbows on his knees to look at him.

"Are you feeling any more like picking that table up?"

"I am never picking that fucking table up," Adam said flatly. "I'm getting out of here. I'm packing a bag and I am getting so fucking far out of here, even I won't know where I am. You can tell Grania fucking enterprises what they can do with their fucking job and then you can shack up with Damien or Bryn or whoever the hell you want because I am going to be fucking history."

"Right," Stuart said mildly. "And then you're going to pick that table up, we're going to get the crockery off the carpet and I'm going to put you to bed for a couple of hours."

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE I'M THREE!" Adam screamed at him. Stuart ducked the hurled cup, reached over and trapped Adam's wrists.  

"Then show me a man I can talk to. Until I see one, I'm going to keep dealing with the kid throwing this tantrum."

Adam bit at him. Stuart pulled him around and once more put his back to the wall, wrapped Adam up in his arms. Adam once more began to sob, hearing his own voice wander out of control.

"Get OFF me!"

Stuart sighed. Oddly enough, there was no sense of what do I do now. No even fleeting thought of, is anything else going to happen this afternoon. He was calm, committed and focused, without interest in anything else but Adam.

"You're not going to hurt yourself or me, Ad. When you're finished, we'll straighten this out. Until then, I'm going to handle this and it's going to be all right."

********

3.45.

Adam was face down on the carpet, face on his folded arms. Stuart was still sitting with his back to the wall, elbows on his drawn up knees.

"You know I didn't eat anything?" Adam said spitefully into the silence. "Aren't you worried the medication will get out of balance and I'll have a fit? One of the f things?"

"I can clear a space around you," Stuart said without moving. "There's the rug over the chair there. I think you'll be all right and the diazepam is in the kitchen if we need it. Then when you're feeling better, we can go back to getting this table picked up."

"What is with you and this fucking table!" Adam demanded. "It's just a table! Just one fucking little table!"

"Ad, you're not going to throw things around in our house. Not today, not ever. And what you DO throw, you're going to pick up. And if it breaks, it takes even longer to pick up."

"Did you learn somewhere to be this much of a bastard? Was there a course you took somewhere or something?"

"Why don't you pick up the table and we can get on with the rest of the day," Stuart said mildly. Adam spat at him.

It took a lot of effort and resulted in a blob of spittle on the carpet about equal distance between them. Stuart tipped his head against the wall to look more closely at the picture hanging above the wreckage on the opposite wall. Adam turned his head and went back to staring at the carpet.

*********

6pm.

There had been no need to tell Stuart anything. Adam had made one uncoordinated scramble for his feet and suddenly Stuart had had an arm around him, had got him through to the kitchen and supported him while he threw up into the kitchen sink, not just once but over and over until his stomach was completely empty and every muscle was pulled. Stuart let his head go and reached up to take a glass out of the cupboard, turning both taps on full. Adam gulped on water, his eyes yet again filling with tears. Partly to do with physical discomfort, partly feeling more wretched than he ever had in his life.

"I told you!" he said without logic or provocation. "Now I'm ill and what do you care?"

"I care a lot and you're not ill. You're too tense and you've been shouting and crying all afternoon, that's why you were sick." Stuart took the glass from him and once more stroked his hair out of his eyes. "Are you finished?"

Adam nodded, exhausted, wanting nothing more now than to escape to bed. Stuart took his shoulders, steering him through the kitchen door. Adam balked hard as Stuart once more returned him to the shattered china and overturned table, dissolving into tears of helpless outrage.

"No! No Stu, it's NOT fair…"

Stuart caught him, held him as Adam turned and got both arms around his neck, almost as much in a plea as for comfort. "NO! Damnit I was just SICK, leave me alone!"

"When you do as I ask and pick that table up," Stuart said calmly. "That's all you have to do."

"No!" Adam found himself crying properly, harder now than he could bear or control, and his arms tightened and wound around Stuart's neck as though he was afraid of someone taking him away. "No, no…"

"Baby, you're going to pick it up."

"No…"

Even to Adam's ears, it sounded pathetic now. Stuart sounded less than concerned above him, just quiet and calm and very convinced.

"Yes. Come on."

Adam started to cry in earnest as Stuart detached his arms from around his neck, turned him and steered him towards the table. Both hands over his wrists, Stuart pushed him down until his hands reached the overturned table on the floor, and there was no point in fighting any further. Too blind with tears and distress to know or care what he was doing, Adam gripped and pulled and felt the heavy wood rock upright. Then Stuart turned him around, pulled him close and picked him up, carrying him across to the sofa. He sat down with Adam in his lap and Adam clung to him with all his strength, sobbing so hard he was in serious danger of throwing up again. Stuart stroked him, his back, his hair, murmuring words that Adam couldn't hear, but he was constantly aware of Stuart's voice. Quiet, calm, very gentle.

Copyright Ranger 2010

Blood on the Mountain Part 5

Title: Blood on the Mountain

Author: Ranger

PART FIVE

The city centre was packed with people doing early Christmas shopping, and it was barely possible to move down New Street . Eventually Stuart grabbed Adam's hand, towed him onto the nearest 62 bus and they fought their way upstairs where seats were still left. Adam dropped into a seat and glared at the crowds in the street below.

"Next time you want to do this-"

"We come earlier in the morning, I know." Stuart gave him a second, more acute look and reached in the pocket of his jacket, pulling out a couple of biscuits.  

"Come on. That should tide you over until lunchtime."

Adam glanced over and his scowl deepened rapidly. "I can wait."  

"Either you eat it, now, or we forget doing anything but go home," Stuart said firmly. "You don't say 'no' to me."

"I didn't!"

"Adam," Stuart warned.

Adam cast a rapid look around the bus and lowered his voice. "I DON'T need the mother hen act, and I'm NOT hungry."

"Whether you're hungry or not, eat them. Your blood sugar needs to stay level."

"No," Adam said sharply.

Stuart hooked an arm through his and pulled him closer, stopping his hunch away.

"We are supposed to be trying to keep you away from any triggers to fits. You're vulnerable at the moment, there is no room for taking chances-"

"Could you MAKE any more of a scene about this?" Adam hissed, scarlet. Stuart sighed, not unsympathetic, but determined Adam wasn't going to fend him off.

"Adam, this is the last time I'll ask. Please eat those biscuits, both of them, now. And without any more arguing."

Adam leaned over and posted the biscuits into the rubbish bin riveted to the bus bulkhead, then sat back and folded his arms.

"Okay." Stuart said levelly, "Your decision."

*******

Why is it I can only do anything with you by making you cry?

Stuart stroked Adam's hair, cradling him without trying to break the stranglehold Adam had around his waist. Adam's face was hidden, buried in his stomach, curled tightly up on his side on the sofa. D592 had put it succinctly- black and white- no grey. The line was the barrier between the two extremes. That appeared to apply to Adam too- there appeared to be Adam only furious and difficult, and Adam quiescent and clinging. Maybe the greys would come later, when they had them mapped and understood. In the meantime, this seemed extreme to him- frustrating that Adam gave him no choice, would push and push without stopping until Stuart spanked him. Which as last few times had reduced him quickly to tears. Adam seemed to have got out of bed the last two or three mornings, looking for his first opportunity for provocation.

It did, however, seem to keep him too busy to mind about being off work. And so far, he'd had no more fits.

Stuart ruffled the black hair under his hand, cupped his palm under Adam's cheek and with difficulty turned Adam's face up to his.

"Did we really just have to do all that over eating two little biscuits?"

"I'm sorry."

Red, swollen eyes met his for a second with an open honesty that was nearly alarming. It was as if emotionally he was either behind a gate, with no way past, or the gate was wide open with no barriers or defenses whatsoever.

"Don't be sorry," Stuart told him gently. "That's over with. I want to know what made you so angry in the first place."

"I don't know." Adam tried to twist away and curl back against him. Stuart held on.

"That's not good enough."

"I don't KNOW." Adam pulled his head out of Stuart's hand, and yelped as Stuart swatted him sharply where he was already sore.

"Adam…."

Adam caught his hand before it could swat again, eyes appealing. Stuart let him hold on, but waited. Adam lay back, curling against him.

"I don't NEED to eat all the time. I wasn't even hungry."

"You know why I wanted you to eat."

"You might as well hang a sign on me."

"Adam." Stuart leaned his head back against the sofa, deeply sympathetic. "People are going to notice it a lot more if you have a fit."

Adam turned his face deeper into Stuart's midriff and declined to answer that. Stuart peeled him away, face and voice gentle, but he was learning the tone that Adam listened to. The calm, steady, matter of fact voice with level eye contact.

"I'm going to carry food with us when we go out, and you're going to eat when I tell you, without making a fuss about it. You're not going to have one single seizure that we can avoid. And food or not, you don't say no to me. Got it?"

"It DOESN'T have to be a problem!" Adam pleaded. Stuart shook his head.

"Got it?"

"What about if you ask me if I want a coffee and I don't? Or can I see your car keys anywhere? You want me to lie?"

Stuart swatted the nearest hip, close to smiling. "You want to discuss contexts, or do you understand me?"

Adam subsided back into his lap.

************

From: Mitchell@N...

To: S.Hutt.@V... 

Subject: Hello

Apologies for the unsolicited mail- my partner asked me to contact you. D592- I believe you've been chatting to him on the DD1 list? I have no wish at all to interfere, but my partner said you were in the traumatic stages and might find a sympathetic ear useful. If not, please feel free to ignore this mail.

We've been together for nearly five years, and in a discipline relationship from more or less the beginning. I came into the relationship with some experience but believe me, the early stages aren't easy for anyone. I seem to remember spending the first month ticking between wanting to wring my partner's neck and wondering what on earth it was I was trying to do in the first place. Things do however settle down in time, and once they do, the benefits start to become apparent. I live with a man who I know wouldn't find it easy to be happy or settled or even that safe without the structure we keep on a day to day basis, quite apart from the fact we'd never find the kitchen for the washing up, or have any clean clothes in the house. At the end of the day this is always people driven, not system driven.

If I can help at all, as someone to let off steam to, or just to chat, please feel free to contact me.

Best wishes,  

Damien.

From: S.Hutt@V...

To: Mitchell@N...

Subject: Re: Hello

Damien,

Thankyou for your mail. Your partner was a great help to me in offering straightforward and extremely practical advice, which I've been struggling to follow ever since. We've been together seven months and trying to start a discipline relationship for almost a month, with varying success. At the moment either we seemed to be locked in combat or Adam in tears, with no stages in between.

The whole situation has been complicated by my partner being unwell at the moment, which affects his moods and his confidence. He isn't able to work at the moment which he finds very frustrating, and which I really can't blame him for. I've got a very small range of strategies I can use at the moment which give me the feeling that I have a handle on the situation and things go well, but I get out of my depth very fast. In some ways I keep feeling I'm using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, when there have to be simpler, less extreme ways to rein things in.

If you have any advice or experience you can offer I would be more than grateful. With Adam this fragile at the moment it seems less than fair he has to put up with my mistakes while I try to learn.  

Thanks again,

Stuart.

*********

He heard Adam swear from the bathroom and opened the door to listen, then walked out, half dressed, looking for him.

Adam was standing in the kitchen, scowling at the phone. As Stuart came in he slammed it back in its cradle and ran his hands through his hair, face twisted with exasperation. Stuart put out his hands and pulled his down.

"What?"  

Adam dropped his hands with a huff of exasperation.  

"I can't remember Sara's damn phone number."

"You must have it written somewhere."

"That's not the point!" Adam gave the phone a poisonous glare and stalked towards the lounge, shoving his hair back out of his eyes with unnecessary violence. "I can't remember a damn thing at the moment-"

"What else can't you remember?" Stuart said quietly, following him. Adam shrugged.

"Oh I don't know. Things. Like yesterday, I kept putting things down and then losing them."

"We all do that."

"NOT LIKE THIS!"

"Hey," Stuart said firmly. Adam gave him a grim look and turned his back to stare out of the window. Stuart came to stand next to him, not trying to touch him.

"It's the bloody drugs." Adam said without looking "He said there wouldn't be any side effects."

"It's bound to take awhile to get used to them."

"I'd be better without the damn stuff."

Something told Stuart it was wiser not to open a discussion on that point.

"What are you going to do today?" he said lightly, intending to distract. Adam glanced sideways at him.

"Try to remember my own sister's number."

"And then?"

Adam shrugged. Stuart put a hand on his back and rubbed.

"You're okay. I'll ring at lunchtime."

"I'll be fine," Adam said sharply.

"Yes, but I like talking to you." Stuart put an arm around his stiff shoulders and gave him a hug. "Ring earlier if you get fed up."

"I'm fed up now," Adam said bitterly. Stuart sighed.

"I know. You're frustrated, you're bored, I do understand, love. But you're stuck with this until the medication settles down, and you're going to have to spend this time at home whether you enjoy it or whether you spend it stropping. So you might as well work on enjoying it."

Adam didn't answer. Stuart kissed his forehead.

"I'll talk to you at lunchtime."

Adam listened until he heard the front door shut, then threw himself down in the nearest armchair and glared at what he could see of the sky through the window.

He became aware in stages that he was surrounded by people. Most of them passed by, not looking or speaking, but one or two gave him looks that made him uncomfortable, as though something was wrong that he ought be aware of. He paused to cover his confusion and found himself looking in a dark glass window. With an effort of vision he made his eyes look through rather than at the glass, and found himself surveying two dummies modelling women's clothing. He moved on. Gradually he realised that the buildings on either side of him were shops. They came one after another, in a line. The walkway ahead began to make sense as a pavement and he became aware of the road beside it, blinking at the speed the traffic was travelling. Shivering, he stood still again and stared at it. His hair was wet and dripping in his face, which made him realise his clothes were damp, and that it was raining. He looked around him, and for the first time wondered where the hell he was. The landscape around him was totally unfamiliar.

"Are you all right, mate?" a man asked beside him. His face appeared to be badly put together, as though he was a set of separate features instead of a coherent body. When he tried to touch, Adam moved away from him and at a loss for what else to do, continued to walk.

Somewhere under a post with a picture of a bus on it, a woman in early middle age put out a hand and turned him around. Then spoke in a voice that was far easier to process than the babble around him.

"Hello, love. Do you know where you are?"

Adam looked at her blankly. She moved him backwards under the shelter of the glass, until his legs touched a bench and he sat down. The woman sat down beside him.

"What's your name?"

Adam gave it some thought as a rational question, and realised he had absolutely no idea. As if that was a cue, he was abruptly swept with total terror, leaving him shaking and struggling with the effort not to burst into tears. This was ridiculous. People had names. He had to have a name.

The woman peered at him without curiosity. People around them, realising something different was going on, were beginning to pay attention and offer advice, much of which was conflicting. The woman took no notice whatsoever.

"What do you know?" she asked simply. "There must be something."

No, just a black void. Adam raked his head with more and more desperation, battering at the headache there. The only thing on his mind at all was a set of digits. Which meant nothing.

"0874 355296." He said to the woman. She said nothing, just took out a mobile phone and held it out to him. Adam accepted it, confused.

"Is that a phone number?"

"I think so."

With no other ideas to hand, Adam dialed the number and listened, with no idea of who he was calling. The voice who answered the phone was completely unfamiliar. It was a woman, that was all Adam knew in response to her,

"Hello?"

"I -" Adam broke off and glanced at the woman beside him. She gently took the phone.

"Hello? I have a young man here, about 5.9, dark, mid-twenties- yes. Yes, I'll stay with him, he isn't hurt. It's the bus stop outside WHSmith, Boar lane. All right."

She shut the phone down and smiled reassuringly at Adam.

"It's all right. There'll be someone here soon to get you."

"Who?" Adam said, trying to summon up some interest. The woman shook her head.

"I don't know, love, but they knew you."

A car pulled up about ten minutes later and disgorged a large, sandy-haired man who came towards them, hands held out.

"Adam? Are you all right? Ad?"

Adam looked at him blankly. The man put an arm around his shoulders and rubbed, comfortingly.

"It's okay. Let's get you home."

That seemed as good an idea as any. Maybe Stuart would be there.

The man talked to the woman without a word of it making sense. Adam got into the car where he was put and leaned his head against the window, letting the fog in his head swallow him up again. He didn't really notice much else until the front door open and he slipped out from under Stuart's arm to make a mug of tea. Buried in that, it dawned on him exactly who Stuart was.

*******

Sara appeared while they were on the second mug of tea. Adam put his mug down, seeing nothing for a minute but her red eyes and the panic in her face. He was halfway towards her, arms held out, when she grabbed him.

"Do you know how long we've been looking for you?"

"Don't ask me, girl, I had no idea where I was either. I've never been so scared in my life." Adam collapsed onto the sofa, pulling her down with him. Sara hooked an arm around his neck and kissed him hard enough to bruise.

"What the HELL are they medicating you with at the moment?"

"You know what, it's in mid-change."

"It isn't safe for you to be doing that. You know where you might have wandered to? There's no WAY you ought to be here on your own in the day-"

"This never happened before."

"It has a few times," Adam pointed out.

"Never like this." Sara wiped her eyes and sat back. Adam glanced up and realised from Stuart's blank expression that the entire conversation had been in Welsh. It took him several deliberate attempts before any English words whatsoever came into his head.

"Sorry."

"He can't be at home alone like this," Sara said sharply, glaring at Stuart.

"You're right." Stuart carried Adam's mug of tea across. "Sara do you want a drink?"

"How can you talk about drinks?" Sara pushed her hair out of her eyes and hunched to sit on the edge of the sofa, with the exact scowl Adam had when on the brink of losing his temper. "You walked off and left him this morning, you must have seen the state he was in-"

"I wasn't then-" Adam glanced at his watch and blinked. It was nearly five pm. "I don't even know what time I went out."

"I rang at twelve and you weren't here then," Stuart said quietly. "I phoned around friends, phoned Sara, tried Grania- no one knew anything about where you were. Sara came to help look for you, she had an idea of what had happened. All we could think of to do was drive around the local area and hope you hadn't gone far. Until you phoned my mother, we had no idea where you were."

"I phoned your mother?" Adam said, startled. Stuart nodded. Adam whistled.

"Wonder why on earth it was her number I remembered?"

"You were wandering around semi-conscious, never mind who you called. This has happened a few times," Sara said grimly. Adam gave her a nudge.

"Only twice." In answer to Stuart's raised eyebrows he went on, "Once was at school- I wandered off halfway through breaktime. Sara came after me."

"He was walking, eyes open, but I couldn't get him to talk to me and he wouldn't let me touch him. I just had to follow until he woke up a few minutes later." Sara gave her brother a glare. "The other time was at home and there were enough people around to keep him safe until he came round. This is what I've been saying all along, you can't be left alone all day."

"No, you're right," Stuart said matter-of-factly. "I'm going to take a few weeks leave from work until this is sorted."

"You don't have to do that," Adam said, glancing up, not without appreciation. Stuart smiled faintly at him. Sara shook her head.

"You ought to be at home."

"What, Ianto and Bryn are going to drop everything?"

"There's enough of them in that house to make sure you're safe."

"It's my problem and Stuart's."

"Of course it's their problem!" Sara said angrily. "If you're worried about them I'll come with you, Stephen can hold the fort and I'll look after you-"

"I don't need looking after." Adam drained his tea and got up. "Do you want a drink or not girl?"

"Be sensible, will you?"

"Stu and I can handle it," Adam said more shortly. Sara's eyes followed him, the same cat green as Adam's.

"If Ianto knew about this-"

"If you tell him I'll do you." Adam retorted. "I'll ring the consultant-"

"I'm way ahead of you," Stuart said calmly. "He said this is excess electrical activity in the brain- partial seizures rather than the full blown tonic-clonics. We need to give it a few weeks for the medication to settle and take effect."

"And what in the meantime?" Sara demanded.

Stuart shrugged. "More or less as you said. Don't leave him alone. If he has one again, stay with him, guide him away from danger and wait for him to come round."

 "And that's it?"

Adam rolled his eyes and said something in Welsh. The reply was fast and in the same language, Adam snapped back and Sara walked out of the flat, letting the door shut behind her. Stuart thought briefly about introducing Stephen to the DD1 website, then sat down beside Adam.

"How do you feel now?"

"Fine," Adam said lightly. "Tired, but fine. I'm sorry you got an earful from Her.. Spitfire, Bryn calls her."

"We're talking about her little brother, she isn't going to be too rational," Stuart said gently. Adam smiled.

"The other two are quite normal. Honestly. If we go up there at Christmas I swear neither of them foam at the mouth or scream a lot."

"I'd like to meet them." Stuart touched Adam's face and got up. "Why don't you lie down? You look shattered."

He was halfway through the ring-around to reassure the vast number of friends and relatives he'd panicked with phonecalls earlier in the day, when he heard the unmistakeable half shout, half cry. He dropped the receiver and headed for the lounge, already knowing what he'd find. Adam had fallen off the sofa, and from the spreading blood on the floor had cracked his head firmly on the table leg. Stuart knelt and pulled Adam onto his side, hooking an arm over his chest to hold him there and tipping his head back. This was a bad one: Adam's limbs were moving, the convulsions shaking him almost too hard for Stuart to hold. Stuart glanced at his watch and felt Adam's heart thumping fast and hard against his hand.

"It's okay, Adam. You're going to be fine. I've got you. All right, sweetheart."

***

Bright red light. The chill of the floor under his shoulders and pain so bad he was breathing in gasps.

"Ad."

Stuart's hands on his head, his chest, "You're all right, it's okay."

Adam couldn't move. The pain was making him sick. He retched, feeling bile burn his teeth, tasting blood from his torn lips and tongue. The movement hurt terribly but he hadn't the breath to cry out. Stuart's hand closed over his and gripped through the silent scream. He was trying to sound calm and failing.

"An ambulance is coming. Its okay, sweetheart, you'll be fine. It's just a fit like all the others."

It had never been this bad. Never.

"Head," Adam choked.

Head. Brain damage.

"Darling, you're all right. I swear to you, you're going to be fine."

Brain damage brain damage brain damage

Sirens. Another crushing wave of darkness as paralysis swept him. Again.

He was aware of various horrible moments that happened to him, unsequenced and filled with thrashing, shouting and pain. Various liquids flew about, hands gripped him. There was nothing worse than the sensation of being held down. It terrified him, and the convulsions grew all the harder.

"I'm here, Adam." He heard Stuart said once or twice and was aware of Stuart's hand on his hair.

*********

He woke in a grey-green disinfectant atmosphere, with the worst hangover of his life. Stuart was white and disinfectant flavoured. And bleary eyed as he bent and kissed Adam gently on the mouth.

"Hey, sweetheart. You're at St. Michael's, don't panic."

Adam closed his eyes. Stuart leaned on the edge of the bed and smoothed his hair. "How long did it last?"

"Four hours on and off. You had seven in a row, one after the other, they couldn't bring you out of it."

The voice was familiar but Adam couldn't follow the words. He was used to the confusion: segments of his brain still out of action, but he was aware of pain as he struggled through his faculties, searching feverishly for damage. Blanks. His head was full of blanks. Stuart pressed his cheek against his.

"Stop it, you're all right. I've got you, you were breathing all the time, you're okay."

He hung on to Stuart's powerful hand. A trolley clanked somewhere in the distance. Lights buzzed, quiet but painful.

"Is this casualty?"

"A ward," Stuart said quietly. "You were admitted about two am . They want some scans."

"CT," Adam said deadly.

"Yes. They rang your consultant last night. He's coming in this afternoon to see you."

He drifted into sleep again. Stuart stroked him, avoiding the bruises around his mouth. Adam had broken a tooth this time; there had been blood everywhere. The nurses kept offering tea, suggesting he went home, but he was too afraid Adam would have another fit, and irrationally afraid no one would notice. Adam slept uneasily, waking at intervals, as usual with a splitting headache and desperately thirsty, but he was groggy which was not at all usual. Stuart held the glass for him, feeding him water since anything else stung the cuts in his mouth. He'd lost all his co ordination. Nurses came in and out. Stuart begged and got pain relief for the headache, and then had a further battle to convince them Adam really couldn't swallow tablets. By the time they brought a hypodermic, Adam was asleep again, still scowling with pain.  

He slept all that day. Sara arrived in the late afternoon in response to the message he had left on her answerphone hours before. Stuart heard her voice in the hallway, talking to the nurse at the reception desk, and went to the doorway with grim annoyance but a sense of duty towards Adam. She froze at the sight of him, looked up at him and then abruptly reached to get both arms around his neck.

"You look dreadful, boy."

He was surprised how much he needed the hug. "That's what he said."

"How is he?"

"Asleep," Stuart said warily. "He had seven almighty fits in a row. They couldn't bring him round. They did blood tests and some scans last night; they've got him scheduled for more tomorrow. They think he's got some sort of virus- they said at one point these were febrile fits. I told them I'd always know if he had a temperature, never mind one high enough to make him fit, but what do I know? I only live with him."

 "What do you think?" Sara said without looking at him. Stuart shrugged.

"There must be some reason this has happened. I'm trying not to, but I keep thinking tumours- diabetes- something to cause this, I wouldn't be so scared if there was a reason I knew-"

Sara shook her head impatiently. "No. This has happened before. He had an awful patch when he was little and another one at fifteen, there was a whole year where he didn't go to school."

She was shaking. Like Adam, her accent deepened when she was upset. Stuart found her hands and tried to comfort himself as well as her.

"He's not ill. I can't see anything wrong apart from the fits themselves. They keep changing his drugs which can't be helping-"

"I ought to call home." Sara drew back and wiped her eyes. "Is there a phone here?"

"Damn-" It hit Stuart like a fist. "I didn't call into work, they'll be wondering why I didn't show up."

"You'll be lucky to have a job to go to if you don't start turning up soon. Go and phone. I'll wait with him."

Stuart opened the door into Adam's room and watched her go to lean on the bars the ward staff insisted had to stay up.

Adam was holding her hand when he came back. Adam was still asleep, very pale and breathing heavily. Sara looked worried from the low chair she was trying to get comfortable on.

"He's awfully confused."

"He always is after a fit. Imagine what seven must be like."

"He knew who I was but he was ever so shaky. He kept asking where you were, I don't think he really knew what was happening."

Adam stirred and muttered something. Sara leant on the bars and spoke to him. Stuart waited, not wanting to interfere, until he heard Adam's voice start to rise.

"Stu? STU -"

"Hey. I'm here, go back to sleep." Stuart moved to get hold of Adam's hand and Adam's fingers closed tight on his. His eyes hadn't opened.

Sara pushed a long strand of dark hair behind one ear, making her narrow face even bonier. "I'd better call the tribe."

Oh God. Stuart tried to find some way to salvage the situation and met the full Sara Scowl. Any hint of friendliness was gone, the slight bond they'd formed in the corridor had been instantly shattered by the person they were connected by. Stuart cleared his throat.

"Is there really any point in worrying them until he's had this scan?"

"They'd want to know." Sara leaned on the doorpost. "Adam started fitting when he was two months old. Ianto told me once. I was screaming the place down, my father came to pick me up and found Adam in a seizure. We've always been the ones who've looked after him."

Stuart swallowed the implications and tried to deflect them. "Must have been hard for your mother to leave you two, with Adam on all the drugs."

"I don't think she gave it a second thought," Sara said dryly. "Neither of us missed her. We were all right. We had each other, see."

She went to ring them. Their precious brothers, somewhere in Wales .

Continue on to Part 6 of Blood on the Mountain

Copyright Ranger 2010